The Designer Monologues: Idioms and expressions

On smoggy days, when I am searching for things to do, I often use online painting applications to create images. You could say I am the "designer in China"...sorry, I just like things that rhyme. 
I have never really displayed strong artistic skills but I did enjoy making cartoons and comics as a child. Now I tend to focus on creating images and text that display idioms, vocabulary and slang that I have learned when studying Vietnamese or Chinese. Drawing and displaying interesting language is fun and helps me to remember the things I have experienced in Hanoi and Beijing. Some of the images I make have been used on this blog. Others I have printed onto T-shirts or mugs. I wanted to explain some of those images in this blog post:

This design is based on the Vietnamese expression "Không Sao Đâu" which means "never mind" or "no problem". But when you translate each word individually; "Không" means no, "Sao" means star and "Đâu" means where. Some of the younger generation of Vietnamese therefore use this translated version. So for example, if you arrived late to a meeting with your friend and you apologised profusely, they could reply with "no star where".

"Buồn Như Con Chuồn Chuồn" is an expression that means to be "as sad as a dragonfly". I don't think dragonflies are a particularly miserable insect, however the word "buồn" meaning sad does kind of rhyme with "Chuồn Chuồn" which means dragonfly, so I guess that's the basis of this idiom. 

"Chán như con gián" means to be as "bored as a cockroach". Again, the Vietnamese language uses an insect for an idiom to describe a negative feeling - poor minibeasts! I have seen some of my friends on Facebook using this expression as a status. I got this design printed on a T-Shirt and took it to Vietnam on my last visit. It definitely got some smiles from the people in Hanoi and some locals even came up to me and asked about where I bought it.

"Khỏe như trâu" means to be as strong or as healthy as a buffalo. So if you are feeling on top of your game then you can use this expression!

"Biết Chết Liền" translated literally means "Know die immediately". It's true meaning is: if I knew that, I would drop down dead. I guess it's not too dissimilar from the English expression "I'll be damned if I know!". So for example, if you were visiting Vietnam and were met with the usual barrage of questions:

"When will you get married?"
"When will you come to Vietnam again?"

"What is the meaning of life?" (Actually I haven't been asked that yet unfortunately).

You could choose to answer with "Biết chết liền".

This is the first Chinese design that I made. It translates to "Did you know this is how rainbows are made?"
The sentence includes a character that was introduced to me by a friend. The character “造” (zào )is used in place of “知道” (zhīdào) which means "to know". When spoken quickly, zhīdào can sound similar to zào. Apparently it is common in Taiwan to substitute “知道” with “造”.

For a while, I was joking with my friend Liz that I would open up my own café in Beijing and sell tasty treats that I missed from back home, like Welsh cakes and scones. Liz absolutely loves pugs and so for a Christmas gift, I decided to draw a pug and create a "pug mug". I decided that I would add "Crimmy's Café" as it's only a matter of time before I create a rival for Mr. Starbucks.  I was quite pleased with the result and so I ordered one for myself too. I will only need a couple more before I can open up that café!

This is the first design I did in both Vietnamese and Chinese. It is based on the game of "Paper Scissors Stone" or "Rock Paper Scissors" (depending on where you're from!). 

I really like how it is a universal game - I remember travelling to Guilin and playing this game with some of the local children. They were amazed that a foreigner could interact with them. So I came up with this design which translates to "The real story of paper scissors stone". The smug stone would clearly always come away unscathed if such a battle were to really happen, so in the drawing the stone suggests "Let's play one more round" resulting in an awkward silence coming from his battered opponents. 

There are two ways to say pig in Vietnamese. One is "lợn", the other is "heo". I first noticed this expression back in the days when Myspace and Yahoo360 were used as popular social media networks. It is a take on the phrase "What the hell?!". The word hell is replaced with heo as they sound rather similar. This expression is used in similar instances of surprise or shock. So when you are feeling astonished by something, you can utter the words "What the heo?!"

I will definitely continue to create different designs as I find it relaxing and a fun activity - particularly if I am stuck indoors due to high pollution. The designs that I have made can be printed on T-Shirts or mugs and found at the following website:

http://vinamike.spreadshirt.co.uk

Xi'an

It is now a year since I first started writing a blog. Initially it was to document my summer holiday as I travelled to through China, Vietnam and South Korea. However, when I returned to Beijing I decided to keep updating my blog about life in Beijing and the adventures I have undertaken since the summer. It is nice to look back on fifty blog posts and see what I have done in one year.

I recently had to say goodbye to some very good friends who will not be returning to Beijing after this summer holiday. It will definitely be strange without them and I am sure to notice their absence. I will miss Kate and Becky a lot but have so many good memories with them. I was fortunate to spend a wonderful weekend with them and other friends in Xi’an last month.

We flew from Beijing to Xi’an on the 12th June and once we got to the hotel we managed one drink before feeling exhausted and heading to bed. The next day we saw Omar and Lyra who had flown in from Chong Qing. We enjoyed a hearty breakfast and then planned to see the terracotta warriors. 

We were lucky that our hotel could organise a minibus to take us there and back. John had visited Xi’an before and following his recommendation, we first visited the Tomb of Emperor Jingdi. I am so glad we did! It was a quiet museum and rather eerie to see the clay figurines that had been uncovered. During Emperor Jingdi’s reign, the public lived a more prosperous and happy life, therefore his tomb was filled with clay animal figurines and smaller human figures that one does not usually associate with the terracotta army. These less aggressive-looking terracotta artefacts were created to reflect the more relaxed and happy period people experienced under Emperor Jingdi's rule.

The amount of clay statues that had been unearthed is staggering. However, the smaller doll-like clay people were a little creepy in my opinion. The museum also had the option of viewing a short video about the discovery of Emperor Jingdi’s Tomb and the history of his reign. It was a really impressive 3D movie and headphones were provided to allow English translation. I would certainly recommend exploring this museum to anyone visiting Xi’an.

Eerily beautiful

Bus nappers!

After the museum, we went to the more famous and much busier Museum of Qin – Terracotta Warriors. It would be an offense to visit Xi’an and not pay a visit to the army. The first thing that dawned on me was the sheer scale of the museum. There are various pits holding hundreds of clay soldiers and horses. There are replicas and reconstructed warriors which show how the army would have been painted at the time of creation. When seeing some of the warriors in the pits, it’s difficult to fathom how they look so genuine after such a long time. The intricate details and facial expressions on each warrior is amazing and there is plenty of information to be found in the museum.

It was a great feeling to see this landmark – and another tick on my China bucket list!

In the evening, we visited the Muslim Quarter. Alcohol is prohibited but somehow we were able to enjoy a meal together. We shared some lamb kebabs and I decided to try lamb pao mo (羊肉泡馍) after my Chinese teacher has told me to try this delicacy. It is a lamb broth with steamed bread. I am not the biggest fan of lamb but this was a rather nice meal.

Later, walking through the Muslim Quarter, I decided to buy a dragon cup. My Chinese teacher had also told me a story about these cups. Legend has it that long ago, a Chinese Emperor grew tired of his greedy wife always wanting more of everything he offered her. So, to teach her a lesson, he created a dragon cup. This cup was special because if the level of liquid in the cup surpassed the dragon’s mouth, the liquid would go down the mouth and through the bottom of the cup. So, when the Emperor was giving his wife hot tea, of course she demanded more and more. When the tea reached the dragon’s mouth, it flowed through the hole in the bottom of the cup, thus scalding the Emperor’s wife. What a prankster that Emperor was! A cheeky yet valuable lesson in learning gratitude. You wouldn’t catch me drinking a hot beverage out of that cup – not for all the tea in China! 

On Sunday, before flying back to Beijing, we went to the city walls of Xi’an. We decided to hire some bikes – including tandem bikes (to the dismay of those sharing a bike with me and my terrible/non-existent balancing skills.) It was a great way to see the city and the impressive wall (not quite as good as the “great” one though…).

Before heading to the airport we had a quick feast. Firstly I had a lamb burger or 肉夹馍 (the Chinese name of this humorously sounds like you're saying Roger Moore).

Apparently this is a traditional food and some historians argue that the burger was actually invented in China. 

 

I also tried biang biang noodles. The character for “biang” cannot actually be typed on a keyboard and is considered one of the most challenging Chinese characters to write by hand due to the number of strokes it takes to complete. The noodle dish was delicious and tasted almost like an Italian pasta dish.

It was a lovely weekend with Kate, Becky, Marc, John, Omar, Lyra and Mike and one that I will remember for a long time.

Tháng trước tôi đã đến thăm Tây An. Các chiến binh đất nung là những hình tượng độc đáo!

Mike's Chomping Cheesy Chinese Chow Challenge #5 – Chao Bing

Following the disappointment of my noodle and Parmesan Cheese experiment, I decided to go back to basics and use a mild cheddar cheese with one of my favourite fast food dishes; chao bing (炒饼). It may look like a noodle dish, but it is in fact strips of shredded pancake stir-fried with cabbage, egg, peppers and bean sprouts. It can also be stir fried with meat (肉炒饼). If you want chao bing without meat, ask for su chao bing (素炒饼). 

I collected a portion of chao bing from a local street stall and quickly made my way back to the apartment while the food was still hot. The chao bing from this particular stall is always tasty and a little bit spicy.

Once I grated the cheese onto the chao bing, I instantly knew that cheddar was the better choice of cheese in this situation. The Parmesan cheese would have to wait for another opportunity to redeem itself. The cheddar began to melt and after I had the first delicious bite, I breathed a sigh of relief – I had discovered a great pairing! My Cheesy Chinese Chow Mojo had returned!

After gobbling up the remaining cheesy chao bing, I made a promise to continue on the never-ending quest to find other Chinese cuisine that can be enhanced with the addition of cheese. 

Until next time, my fromage friends!

Tôi không biết “炒饼” bằng tiếng Việt là gì, nhưng nó là một món ngon.
炒饼 và phô mai bào ngon lắm!

Beijing Poem - Intoxicated by a toxic city

The air quality index measuring the PM2.5 pollutant particles in the air has recently risen above 200 for the first time in quite a while. This, coupled with a number of friends leaving Beijing very soon has made me think about how the smog can have a huge impact on your life here.

On good days, Beijing is such a beautiful and exciting place to be.
On bad days, you can feel suffocated by the pollution and forced to stay indoors.
Below are two photographs of Sanlitun Tai Koo Li area. One is taken on a clear day, the other on a high pollution day.

I found a poem that I wrote last year and it sums up my feelings, so I wanted to post it on my blog.

Intoxicated by a toxic city

The Jekyll and Hyde emotions of life in Beijing,

Respect, love and wonder for the treasures within.

History, people, culture enthralling,

All is forgotten when the grey curtain is falling.

The venomous fumes envelop this place,

Choking and leaving a taste of disgrace.

A chorus of suffocating lungs complaining,

But beauty is surrounding and forever remaining.

Charmed by the capital’s enchanting scenes,

Whilst listening to the hum of air filter machines.

The rose-tinted glasses angrily thrown away,

A colourful city, now a cold shade of grey.

Unannounced, the poison cloud returns,

The furnace of progress; forever it burns.

What price to pay for this growth and wealth?

Be confined like caged birds or damage your health.

Why choose to live in this city you ask,

To live a life trapped in a mask?

Polluted days are dark, dirty and daunting,

But the power of Beijing is eternally haunting.

Mike's Chomping Cheesy Chinese Chow Challenge #4 - Noodles

Bolstered by my successful baozi and cheese experiment, I felt it was time to try something wild and dangerous. A new and exciting taste sensation cannot be created if I always play it safe and never think outside the box. It’s not always cheap or easy to locate different types of cheese here in Beijing, but perhaps I was limiting myself by using cheddar in many of my investigations. I decided to put my tube of Parmesan cheese to good use. It had been sitting on my shelf for far too long.

I like a generous sprinkle of Parmesan cheese on a delicious pasta dish, so I felt quite certain that it could enhance a snacking experience if used appropriately. Noodles are not so different to pasta, so once I had mentally prepared myself for this challenge, I went on a noodle hunt. 

My local noodle restaurant were unfortunately not selling 拉面 (hand-pulled noodles), however they did have 拌面 (board/block noodles) which is a tasty noodle soup with egg, meat and vegetables. 

I hungrily placed the noodles in a bowl and watched as the Parmesan cheese rained down on the flat noodles. I felt sure that I had a winning combination.

Slurping up the noodles, I have to admit that I was rather disappointed. The noodles are already full of flavour, unfortunately the Parmesan cheese became clumpy in the soup. The cheesy gloop helped me to understand that perhaps I should go back to cheddar cheese for my next cheesy challenge. It wasn't exactly a terrible taste, but it just didn't ignite my tastebuds in the way that I had hoped. I may have had a minor setback this time, but this small failure can only encourage me to continue on this cheesy mission.

Gần đây tôi đã ăn mì sợi và pho mát pác-ma. Vị của nó lạ quá! Lần tới tôi sẽ dùng pho mát dày!

Beijing Summer: The Beijing Battalion Part 2

The Beijing summer can be a long, hot, sweaty experience for a pasty-skinned Welshman. Apart from slathering on sunscreen lotion when the sunlight burns through the smog, there are other things you can do to alleviate the uncomfortable heat.

Firstly, wake up early in order to enjoy a hearty breakfast in the shade before the temperature gets too high.

Sitting outside in the shade of a tree while watching breakfast being prepared was the perfect way to start the day. This tasty feast of baozi (包子) and wonton soup (馄饨) was the delicious and kept me full for a good few hours.

Next, invest in some electrical appliances that will make the summer months just a tad more bearable. Now that the long, harsh winter is a distant memory, Peter and Rita the heater are no longer needed. Instead, I require the help of the following additions to the Beijing Battalion:

Don the Air-Con

Don has had a rather relaxed period up until recently. He was quite grumpy when woken from hibernation and often complains about being overworked. This results in him weeping and leaking his tears onto furniture as he protests about constantly cooling the apartment.

Stan the Fan

                                  

Stan is my biggest fan. Haha. He helps out when Don decides to imitate a waterfall. Stan offers support at those crucial moments when it gets too stuffy. 

Glenda the Blender

Glenda is the latest recruit to join the Beijing Battalion. When the temperature soars to mid-thirties, I generally lose my appetite. Glenda can offer a tasty soup or a thirst-quenching smoothie for the rare occasions when a full, stodgy meal does not appeal. 

Finally, the last piece of sage advice is to militantly binge on ice cream. 

Ở Bắc Kinh, nắng hè nóng hừng hực. Một trong những thú vui nhỏ trên đời là được uống một cốc nước trái cây tươi vào một ngày hè nóng bức. Làm sao giữ mát mẻ trong những ngày oi bức được?