Beijing gym on a whim

It began as a rather normal Sunday. I was furtively hunting for some new teaching materials to bring to school. On this particular occasion, I was searching for sandpaper so that students could test the durability of rocks...but let's get back to the story.

After a forty minute walk I still hadn't located any kind of paper, except for the occasional discarded leaflet drifting solemnly in the breeze. If I kept walking on this unsuccessful mission then perhaps my worn down feet would suffice as an abrasive material to test rocks. This lack of sandpaper was starting to rub me up the wrong way.

Suddenly, I saw something promising in the distance. It was the characters "五金" which I knew meant hardware. Just like the mirage of a water fountain in a desert, I stumbled onwards to reach the beautiful vision before me. It was not my imagination - it was a real hardware shop! The shopkeeper gave me a strange look when I requested sandpaper, but to my relief and sheer euphoria, I became the proud owner of eight sheets for approximately 80 pence.

The shop in the centre with a blue sign is a sandpaper utopia

Feeling quite happy with myself, I left the hardware shop and was met by a young man trying to entice members of the public to join a nearby gym. This is quite a common occurrence in Beijing. If I had one yuan for every time I was handed a gym leaflet by someone on a street corner, I could afford a hefty supply of sandpaper by now. However, I had been considering joining a gym for a while and since this was the first person to offer me an actual view of the gym , I decided to check it out.

The gym was just a short walk from the sandpaper paradise shop. I was still buoyed by my triumphant mission and quite enjoyed the labyrinth that was the gym entrance. To get to the main gym, you must first enter the building, then take the lift to the basement -1 level, sign in at reception and finally find a different lift which will take you up to the third floor.

Following a quick tour of the basket ball court, bike machine room and swimming pool on the lower -2 level, I ascended to the third floor and checked out the equipment. I was still undecided about whether I wanted to commit to a gym. It could have been the incredibly cheap one-year fee of around £200. Or perhaps it was the promise of a free swanky gym bag if I signed a contract. But I decided that I would indeed join.

With this bag, I am now a legit exerciser

I am not a social exerciser. I don't want to play a team sport and have people watching me sweat and suffer. Thankfully nobody I know seems to visit this gym which is another good selling point. Plus the free gym bag would make me look like the real deal.

Once I signed on the dotted line, I filled in some forms and a personal trainer asked me to stand on a machine which measured my weight. The jovial instructor became suddenly very serious and said that I was a number "8" on the machine's scale. If I reached number 9, he warned me that I would have terrible health issues. It is true, since coming to China, the only running I have done is occasionally running a bath. But I knew for sure that my health is not as dire as he would have me believe. I found it quite amusing but nodded all the same.

I returned to the gym the following day for a free session with the personal trainer. His English is limited to saying "OK" and counting to ten (generally leaving out number seven). I realised that not only will I be developing my health, but also my Chinese skills. He explained to me that I should run on the treadmill for thirty minutes and then he would give me a one hour class on weight training and exercising specific muscle groups. He was keen for me to him some English and also give him an English name. He seemed pretty happy that he could now be called Colin.

Colin's gym poster

After just a short time of going to the gym, I did begin to feel more energetic. I wasn't sure if it was just a placebo effect or if I was actually already feeling the benefit of exercising. I have likened it to eating a delicious yet spicy curry. The after effects the following day can be a little painful but you know that it's been a worthwhile experience. It has now been three and a half weeks since I started at the gym and I was rather chuffed to beat my personal best time by running over 6km in less than 30 minutes.

Woohoo! See you later number "8", I am going to be a "7" soon!

Colin is a trained Kung Fu teacher. He is quite strict and during one session decided to teach me some basic Kung Fu. I am guessing he did it just for a laugh. I am not the most co-ordinated or well-balanced person. After a couple of minutes of teaching me some shaky moves, he chuckled and decided to go back to weight training. Colin may be fit and healthy, but timekeeping is definitely not his forte. Although he stated that the training sessions would total one hour after I finish on the treadmill, he will often work with me for an hour and a half, sometimes almost two hours. Even though I end up exhausted, it is definitely value for money.

One thing that is a little peculiar is that after each session, Colin gives his gym members a massage. This may seem like a good idea in order to relax people's muscles after a strenuous workout. However, Colin uses a large rubber tube (almost like a thin tyre) in which to "massage" his clients. This in itself is not too uncomfortable. It kind of feels like he is trying to roll me out like a piece of dough. Once this ritual has been completed, Colin then decides to beat me with said tube. I still haven't figured out how this helps me in any way, but I'm guessing that he is trying to beat the fat out of me so that I am no longer an "8". Not so much an exercising session, more like an exorcism session. But the whole thing is funny and I usually end the class chortling on the floor (with the occasional "ouch" involved).

Instrument of torture. Apologies for the blurry quality - I was still shaking from the post workout beating.

I do live in an often highly polluted city, so I hope that I can maintain this healthy decision to regularly go to the gym. We shall see!