A Chinese New Year Tale

This is my third Spring Festival in Beijing. I have attended New Year celebrations in various places and although fireworks always make an appearance; nothing can compare to the sheer volume and intensity of the pyrotechnics found in Beijing.

I’ve been lucky enough to never experience a warzone firsthand. However, the cacophony of rockets, firecrackers and other explosives echoing around the city for days, can sometimes give the impression that the city is under siege.

There is a traditional story, which explains the reasons for the excessive use of fire-flowers illuminating the sky and the barrage of booms that reverberate around the entire city. I have condensed and illustrated the story below:

Considering the endless rumbles I have heard so far, I think it’s safe to say that Nian will not be making a return appearance any time soon.

To the 3 questions I always seem to ask myself (yet already know the answer to) during Chinese New Year:

1) Should I eat more?
Yes. It's an important holiday. For goodness sake, sneak another dumpling - they're good luck so it would be silly not to!

2) Am I going to find a seat on the subway today?
YES!! With many people returning to their hometowns, Beijing encounters a mass exodus that provides those who stay in the city, with a convenient and comparatively quiet public transport service.

Seats?!!!

3) Hasn’t everyone used all of the fireworks yet?
No. The answer is always no. Even when you just want a quiet nap, there will be some onomatopoeic obscenity just waiting to blast in your ear.

Last night, I went to 后海 (Hòuhǎi) with my friend Liz. She has, what can only be described as a firework fetish and came bearing about one billion boxes of the bangers (only a slight exaggeration). Houhai was a beautiful setting to watch the fireworks light up the night sky while getting reflected in the lake.

Luckily, Liz was uber-prepared and brought masks along for both of us. The pollution levels had been low all day, but she knew that the sky would soon be inundated with gunpowder and smoke.

It was a fun evening and has certainly confirmed my fondness for one of China’s most important festivals of the year.

Bạn có xem màn trình diễn pháo hoa chào đón năm mới không? Ở Bắc Kinh, pháo hoa nổ tung thành một đám mưa tia lửa. Tối qua tôi đã ăn phở bò và nem rán…Chẹp chẹp~
Tôi đã học được Lễ Hội Mùa Xuân được tổ chức để xua đuổi tất cả linh hồn quỷ dữ của mùa đông...Chúc bạn một Năm Mới Thật Hạnh Phúc!

Year Of The Yang

The Year Of The Horse has reached the final furlong. The preparations for Lunar New Year have been audibly and visibly evident for weeks already: shops blasting out "catchy" New Year-themed music, fireworks stalls popping up and an abundance of festive decorations on display.

I plan to enjoy the excitement of the New Year celebrations, however, I have a deep concern with regard to the next Chinese Zodiac Year. Just by looking at the paper cuttings and cuddly toys on offer, it's clear to me that there is confusion about which animal is representing the next zodiac year. Messages sent from Chinese colleagues and friends are further evidence to the inconsistencies of which cloven-hoofed chum is in charge.

The problem stems from the translation of “羊” (yáng). This character is used in the Chinese words for sheep “绵羊”(miányáng), goat “山羊” (shānyáng) and ram “公羊” (gōngyáng).

It doesn’t seem to bother people that any of these three fleecy friends can be used. I just don’t want to have the wool pulled over my eyes. I would like to have some clarity about which of these shaggy associates I can consider my mascot for the year.

The horse has basked in the glory for an entire year without a zebra, donkey or mule getting a look-in. Perhaps it’s my Welsh blood causing some bias and wanting the humble sheep to have it’s time in the limelight; without having to share it with a goat, ram or being served on a plate with mint sauce and gravy.

Having conducted a little online research, it seems that I am not alone in the quest for a definitive answer to the question: 2015 is the year of the…?

In reality, it doesn’t bother me too much. On the eve of the Lunar New Year, I am feeling grateful that the pollution is low and the sun is shining here in Beijing. I will just follow the herd and join in with the festivities without fretting too much. This evening I will flock to Houhai and enjoy the fireworks and celebrations. Although, I am not sure if I will buy any souvenirs on offer tonight – I don’t want to get fleeced!

Happy New Year everyone!

Tết sắp đến rồi. Tôi có tám ngày nghỉ lễ. Tôi ăn Tết ở Bắc Kinh 2 lần rồi. Cao điểm của buổi lễ mừng năm mới thường là cuộc trình diễn pháo hoa. Bạn nghĩ gì về ngày Tết ở Việt Nam? Chúng Mừng Năm Mới và vạn sự tốt lành!

Incredible Dependable Indispensables : The Beijing Battalion

The long, cold, dry and often polluted Beijing winter is a bit of a beast. But over time, I have constructed a band of warriors; a small army if you will, to help combat the savage brutality that one must endure during the harsh winter months. I may have exaggerated, but only slightly…this winter has been rather mild. It is quite possible I would not have survived to enjoy such comparatively warm temperatures if it wasn't for these loyal comrades. 

Meet: 

Peter The Heater 

Peter was the first addition to my apartment. During the darkest, coldest evenings, Peter offers an almost-friendly orange glow and lukewarm comfort that only a cheap heater from Taobao (Chinese ebay) can provide. 

Rita The Heater 

…Because one heater is just not enough! As temperatures plummeted to -10ºC and below, Rita stepped in and took command. She is the juggernaut of all heaters and truth be told, often intimidates Peter. But when the two heaters work together, they create enough warmth so that I can (at least for short periods of time) remove my thermals. Due to the horrors of combatting draughts and chills (yet mainly due to the amount of electricity she consumes) I have offered Rita some well-earned rest & recuperation. She currently resides in my spare room but remains alert and ready for the next sub-zero emergency. 

Mariah The Air Purifier 

Don’t be fooled by Mariah’s clean and sleek appearance. Filtering out disgusting and health-damaging air particles is a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it! Beijing’s air quality is no laughing matter and it’s no coincidence that Mariah is the most solemn of the gang. You think your diet is hard? Mariah eats PM2.5 for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She spends most of her days cleaning the air in my apartment but in her free time (on low-pollution days) she enjoys singing sea shanties and having clothes draped on her. 

…and introducing, Mr. McGuire The Humidifier 

Beijing’s climate is absurdly arid. I often wake up with cottonmouth and have to embark on a treacherous journey to the kitchen in search of water. One glass of H2O next to my bed at night is just not enough to quench the dryness that nighttime brings - especially if Rita is in close proximity.

I had growing fears that I was going to end up as a shrivelled, withered, dehydrated husk of my former-self. Oh, these are not laughter lines or wrinkles brought on by the passing of years…these are clearly creases in my ravaged, haggard face that have been formed by lack of moisture. To be honest, Bear Grylls would have resorted to drinking his own urine months ago.

I, on the other hand, decided the best option would be to purchase Mr. McGuire The Humidifier. He is the most recent addition to my apartment and yet already has a great deal of expectations placed upon him. I firmly believe that adding moisture to the air will help combat terrors like: dry mouth, chapped lips, wrinkles (and the general ageing process), hunger pains, flatulence while also preventing other negativity such as having a bad day at work, hearing my neighbour playing the same music every evening and finding there is no more cheese in my fridge.


So there you have it, the Incredible Dependable Indispensables. I will update you on their continuing battle and inform you of any new arrivals to this team of elite equipment.

Bắc Kinh có khí hậu khô ráo. Nhà tôi cực kỳ khô trong mùa đông. Tôi có một máy tạo hơi ẩm cho phòng ngủ. Tôi không thể chịu nổi những tháng mùa đông lạnh giá. Tôi có hai lò sưởi điện. Ở Bắc Kinh, ô nhiễm không khí rất khủng khiếp. Tôi có một máy lọc không khí trong nhà. Làm sao để qua mùa đông? =))

Man-Flu In The PRC

Some things are just more exciting when you are abroad. Being sick is not one of them. I recently got struck down with a cold and have been feeling suitably sorry for myself. Luckily, last summer, Mum left some ‘flu medicine and throat lozenges here for me in preparation for such a terrible event.

Despite my debilitated state, I decided that I should use this opportunity to discover the perfect cure to a Beijing cold, so that I can help others in my snotty situation. In the past, when I have suffered from a cold, Chinese colleagues have recommended that I drink lots of hot water. I feel like this is a perfectly reasonable and easy recommendation to follow. I was also told to try boiling pears with rock sugar to relieve some of the symptoms of a sore throat. However, this time my cold appears to leave me feeling too bone idle to search for said ingredients.

To get rid of my stuffy nose, I used some Tiger Balm, which I had brought back from my most recent trip to Vietnam. Today, I also decided to explore the pharmacy near to my apartment compound in order to find additional remedies. All in the name of science (and curiosity…and wanting to get rid of this cold).

Tiger Balm

Having previously used 风油精 (fēng yóu jīng), I decided to stock up on it at this challenging and harrowing time. Rubbing a little on your temples can relieve headaches and a stuffy nose. I also decided to try 西瓜霜(xīguā shuāng) which is a lozenge (imagine the weak love-child of a Trebor mint and a Fisherman’s Friend). 

After conducting this lengthy experiment and taking many ideas into consideration, I have come to the following conclusion. A Beijing cold is a cruel mistress. Any sufferer should heed this essential advice:

• Get attention and sympathy from family and friends (whether in person or via the internet). 
• Drink plenty of hot water (sometimes adding lemon and honey). 
• Order in food (hot soup is always a welcome treat). 
• Forage for some kind of menthol rub and/or lozenge. 
• Get your grubby, germ-riddled mitts on cold/flu relief medicine. 
• Treat yourself to marathon sleep sessions (with a very comfortable blanket). 
• Slather your red-raw nostrils in a moisturising cream. 

Follow this plan to the last letter and you have yourself a cure for the Beijing cold. As I write this, I must say that I am beginning to feel better! Hurrah!

Tôi bị cảm nên ngạt mũi. Không có phương thuốc nào đáng tin cậy cho bệnh cảm lạnh. Tôi đã uống thuốc và ở trong nhà. Nước chanh nóng với mật ong đúng là thứ rất cần để chữa trị cảm cúm.

Wangfujing

王府井（Wángfǔjǐng）

Recently I visited the snack street and night market at Wangfujing. I first visited the area last summer, when my parents came to visit. It is famous for selling a smorgasbord of strange and striking street food. It’s popular with Chinese tourists from outside of Beijing and there are usually a handful of foreigners meandering through the hungry crowds.




There is something about the market that appeals to my curious nature. Food that I would never consider trying in a restaurant, suddenly becomes intriguingly appetising when displayed on kebab sticks and presented to me by persuasive vendors. It is almost as if I have to accept the challenge of gorging on bizarre refreshments.



On a hot summer's day, my dad and I decided to try deep-fried scorpion(蝎子xiēzi) and seahorse (海马 hǎimǎ). From what I can recall, they tasted rather salty and crunchy. Mum did not want to try such exotic delicacies, so ended up eating candied fruit and tteokbokki.










On my latest visit to the market, it was time to finally try stinky tofu (臭豆腐chòu dòufu). I was pleasantly surprised that the taste was far less repulsive than the smell. Following that, I thought it was necessary for me to reward my adventurous culinary experiment, by trying deep-fried ice cream. It was rather sweet and after being deep-fried, the ice cream melted into a fruity, creamy substance. It wasn’t such a terrible ordeal. The best part of this edible escapade is not necessarily devouring the nibbles on offer. Just taking in the market atmosphere and viewing the wide variety of “treats” on offer is quite an experience.


                   Stinky tofu

          Deep-fried ice cream

Pineapple fried rice

Silk worm, squid and innards on sticks

Quail eggs

Too cute to eat?

Spiders and other creepy crawlies

After walking around the stalls, Liz and I ended up at the main street flanked with large shops and malls. We then stumbled across the Beijing Foreign Languages Bookstore. Since getting a Kindle, I have downloaded a rather large catalogue of ebooks to keep me busy. However, I had just read about the author Yu Hua (余华) and was unable to download his books. So I seized the opportunity and bought his novels “Brothers” and “To Live”.



Wangfujing is definitely a place that visitors should see and I will make sure to return there next time I am feeling adventurous and hungry.

Cuối tuần trước, tôi đã đi đến một chợ đêm. Ở chợ đêm này, tôi đã ăn bọ cạp, cá ngựa, kem chiên giòn, và đậu phụ thối. Thức ăn vặt ưa thích của bạn là gì?